I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize