David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
