that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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