About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
