dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
