His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
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