i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
