I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
