i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
