You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
