Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize