can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?