Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.