Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms