Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet