You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
