i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
YAS. BRING CRAB.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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