Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
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