Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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