How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
