do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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