we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
