at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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