just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Do you have feelings for this penis?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
