How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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