Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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