I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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