And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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