hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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