The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
