I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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