My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Randomize
