There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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