She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
