apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I stole a fireplace last night.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
