I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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