Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
