Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Randomize
