They should really pass out barf bags in church
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
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