My nipple is on Facebook.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
