We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
