Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
