Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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