Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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