it's not cheating when I paid for it
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
