I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
