At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
