I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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