So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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