when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
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he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
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Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on