i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.