So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.