We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
