yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Randomize
