I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
