so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
