Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Randomize
