his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
