I love black thongs
I'm going to jail i love you
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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