My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
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