My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
