Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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