If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
