its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize
