Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Randomize
