how can u be prego again
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
