It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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