Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
